Stop Questioning

I'm thinking of my biggest dreams, my most audacious hopes, and my lofty goals.

I was taught to dream big, to reach for the stars, to go after the things I want the most. I was taught these ideals, but not the fundamentals of how to get there. Or was I?

When do I fess up to the fact that I talk myself out of just being me?

When do I realize that the easiest step is the first step? And why is that step the most terrifying?

I stomp my feet, go around and around in circles, feeling helpless to take that first step.

What will it take to motivate me? Being uncomfortable where I am? Consuming love? Fear? Will those last?

That's my assignment: I will find my why. I'm learning that it is all wrapped up in just being me and trusting in God's plan.

"Stop thinking about how you can figure it out and know that I have already planned it out. Stop questioning how you'll walk it out and just know that I have already prepared and pre-planned every step that you must walk out. Stop questioning the authority that I have put within you and begin operating in the authority that I have set inside you, and call the things that are not as though they were, and speak forth with the Spirit of faith, and see the opportunities opened right before thee. When it is necessary, when it is absolutely time, it shall come to pass," Saith the Lord. "So don't question what the future will look like, just know that I have pre-planned, and I have prepared it. I have already pre-planned it for you to walk it out in authority, in revelation, in abundance in every arena of life. I have called you, I have anointed you, and I will work through you to fulfill My destiny in this Earth. Others will come along side, others will go with, if you stop questioning how you can do it and put all your faith and trust in Me, and watch me do it because I have already done it for each one of you!" Prayer @ LWCC 8-29-12

Storm

I don't understand why I'm going through what I am facing right now.
It is unjust. It is not convenient. It is certainly not easy. I have been treated unfairly.
People that I tried to please have abandoned me. I was not given a choice in this.
It is a storm, a battle, a lonely place.

Sound familiar?

I'm not going to pretend that I have this all figured out. I don't. I'm crying as I type this and fighting the icy hands of fear out of my mind. I'm angry, I'm so angry. I'm afraid. This storm is made of anger and fear, and I'm running headlong into it.

Have you ever run in the rain? Man, at first it's not fun, and my instinct is to turn for home and head for cover. But if I keep on running, it is amazing. The cool breeze, the soaking, the cleansing. Once I am soaked, I can't get any more soaked. I adapt, and take joy in the rain, tremble at the lightning, marvel at the thunder. The fury becomes my inspiration. The familiar looks different, it's easy to become lost, but wondrous and almost magical. I don't want an umbrella at this point, it would just hold me back. Let me embrace the storm, let it change me, let me feel the raw power, and come out a changed person.

ReBirthplace

When the path you take me isn't stone, when it's not laid out for me to walk alone.

I fret, fuss, and then complain. I try my own way all in vain.

Yearn to be delivered, then when free, I say, "I'm not where I want to be."

You didn't say it was a piece of cake. A leap of faith I have to take. 

You give me the grace to run in place, and the courage to make mistakes.

Baby birds fall when learning to fly, how much more precious am I?

Your eyes are on me, Your love surrounds me, I'm on Your mind.

There are plans for me beyond what I can see.

A future to unfold, wonders to behold.

Fill me up, but my little cup can't contain Your Majesty.

Increase my capacity, make me who I'm meant to be.

I get it now, You're all I need. 

I thought once it was up to me to choose my destiny.

That is an empty vain pursuit, I will never match your magnitude.

Take my pen, my voice is Yours, let echo on paper Your voice Lord.

Blind to self, change my sight, that I see them through Your eyes.

Bless my hands to do what's right, and my feet to stand and fight.

Renew my mind, and cleanse my heart. Refine my life, light the spark.

Take the pain, what's left of me, a willing heart is all you need.

No longer who I was - but always who You meant me to be.

Here is the birthplace of my passionate vitality.