Love > Death

A friend I know died this week.

My heart hurts for his family.

I can't stop thinking about life/death/those I'd leave behind/those that might leave me behind.

Not in a morbid sort of way, but in a thoughtful way.

Whys and what ifs have filled me this week.

Life is fragile.

Love is stronger than death. (Song of Solomon 8:6)

Image: Savatra

Image: Famie Fairnie

Joy and Strength

Nehemiah 8:10
“Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

THE DEFINITIONS

Grieved/Grief
“deep mental suffering often endured alone and in silence but revealed by one's aspect (or appearance). Also, keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret."

Joy
1. a deep feeling or condition of happiness or contentment
2. something causing such a feeling; a source of happiness
3. an outward show of pleasure or delight; rejoicing
4. success; satisfaction.

Strength
Place or means of safety, protection, refuge, stronghold.
Strength is the inherent capacity to manifest energy, to endure, and to resist.
A place of safety, fastness, harbour, stronghold, refuge, human protection.

MY THOUGHTS

The big thing that got me with this one was that grief is mental distress/suffering endured alone and in silence. Often we take these big heavy burdens onto ourselves, internalize them and they make us sick from the inside out. We think that just because we don't verbalize our pain that others aren't affected, but it is written in our body language and our mannerisms. It struck me how this one word can pretty much sum up all of life's badness: affliction, loss, sorrow, and even regret. Most of these things we can't even control or stop from coming at us. They just do. What we can control, instead, is our response to them. Our first instinct is to grieve. The emotion comes naturally, but we don't want to get stuck there.

Joy becomes our grief weapon and equips us with strength. I love this definition of strength: "The inherent capacity to manifest energy, to endure, and to resist. A means of safety, protection, refuge..." Holding onto joy, that's what gives us strength. The Lord gives us this burst of life and endurance in the midst of our circumstances. It's that extra pep to our step when we feel like fainting. It's the encouraging word to our neighbor when our own lives are in ruin. It's that ability to dig deep in order to bless someone else, even when we ourselves should be at the point of exhaustion. He picks us up, energizes us, and we have the incredible capacity to wear a smile even when all seems lost.

Joy is found by giving to others, and pouring into their hurting souls. It is striving with someone through the grit and the grime of the messes of life. It is picking up pieces of a broken heart and holding them until that person is strong enough to put them back together. It's going that extra mile and giving that extra smile. It's better that way.

“Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself”

-Mahatma Gandhi 

“Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service, and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness” 

-Tolstoy

Legacy

This weekend, my family and I went to the MN History Center to see the play "1968 - The Year that Rocked the World" featuring our Uncle Jerry Miron. It was a special time of making memories, and honoring the heros in our life.

In Uncle Jerry's words, "The real heroes are the people that don't want to be heroes, they just get put in a situation and react." Those are the people we need around us, the silent heroes. The people who react from the bottom of their heart in every day situations. The people who bring out the best in those around them, who care enough to ask your name and give you a hug. They are the people who in one moment are a perfect stranger, and the next they bring you into their world of love and make you feel like a million bucks.

They are people like you and me, who don't feel like they have much to offer the world, but are willing to make an effort. They put themselves out there, in the hope that their story can help someone else. They are the people who rise above heartaches, life's trials, hopelessness, and choose to beleive in a bigger picture. They cling to the hope that " [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose." Romans 8:28 

I'm so blessed and honored to have married into such a loving and God-fearing family. I know we all aren't perfect, but in striving to live our lives for God's glory, and touch those around us, we are creating a beautiful legacy.

Time and Meltdowns

I had a meltdown yesterday. My student yelled and thew a pencil at me, told me I was weird, and that I need to stop saying things that make him mad. Oh... and that I can't smile. Ha! It was a really long bad day, and I cried the whole drive home. That was soon followed by a panic attack that I don't have enough time in the day to work both jobs, eat, love on the hubs, be with family, be a friend, or do things that I enjoy.

I realize I need to work on time management. I'm learning to keep weeding out the things that only bring me down, and add some space the things that make me feel alive. I need a fresh dose of life in my living!

((Update)) As I was writing this, I got an update from one of my favorite people. This must be a theme today. Take a listen to Terri's take on Time Management. I will be using her Time Maps to get a grip on things.

So how do we cope when we feel overwhelmed, out of control, and burnt out? This is what I do, and you should try too!

1. Breathe a prayer. Pause and know that God cares about you and the situation, and ask for His guidence.

2. Realize that all situations are temporary and will change eventually.

3. Do something you can control. (work out, write your feelings, change your attitude, ect) 

4. Schedule some quiet time, even if it's just a few minutes to chill out, get your head back on straight. Listen to some music, hold your loved one, kitty, dog... whatever will calm you down.

Word of Encouragement

Psalm 119:105 "Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

What this means to me: The Bible sheds light on our current circumstances, it gives us something to work with in the here and now. Also, it gives us light into the rest of our lives, the big picture, and the course that we should follow.



Confession - I'm drinking my coffee again. It makes me a better human being. All in moderation. 12 hour work days are not possible with a boost. Forgive me.